Dealing With Jealousy From Other Women (As a Pregnant Woman)

Pregnancy is a magical phase in a woman’s life, but it’s not without its challenges, such as the strange transformations that occur within the body. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, with plenty of ups and downs.

When we women get pregnant, we have a surge of happy cells in us and we tend to talk about our journey all the time. This is on top of the BabyCenter/WhatToExpect forum surfing and endless readings on your weird pickles craving and tracking fetal kicks.

Your life is BABY! Baby is Life! All hail Baby! (Husbands know what I mean.)

However, not everyone will react the same way as your partner, and jealousy can arise. This is particularly true among casual friends, colleagues, or even family members who are struggling with infertility or the ticking biological clock. It can become more challenging when pregnant women are faced with passive-aggressive behavior fueled by envy.

This is a delicate period for women who have been through pregnancy, and handling the negativity of others can be daunting but achievable. It requires a willingness to be the bigger person, to show empathy and forgiveness. It’s important to remember that their jealousy is not your fault.

To better understand why friends or family members may feel envious of your pregnancy, it’s crucial to examine the underlying reasons behind their emotions. This understanding can help you process their discomfort and move on.

Why Others Would Feel Jealous of a Pregnancy

1. “I can’t have kids myself.”

One reason why another woman may feel jealous of your pregnancy is if they are unable to conceive themselves. This can be an incredibly painful and sensitive topic, as many women have suffered loss and infertility without explanation.

Experiencing this type of loss can leave a profound emotional impact, and it’s essential to approach these situations with an open mind and heart. It’s important to recognize the pain that these women may be dealing with every day, while you are experiencing the joy of pregnancy. They may experience feelings of self-blame and inadequacy, but it’s crucial to remember that they are not bad people.

It’s important to be sensitive to their feelings and provide space for them to heal. By understanding their pain and offering support, you can help them work through their emotions and find peace.

2. “I’d be a much better parent if I was the one pregnant.”

Another reason why someone may feel jealous of your pregnancy is if they believe that they would make a better parent than you. This person may have been trying to conceive for an extended period and may have already mentally and emotionally prepared themselves for the responsibilities that come with parenthood.

For those who have been waiting to become parents, it can be challenging to see someone else have a pregnancy come easily to them, whether it was planned or not. It’s important to recognize that their envy is not directed at you personally, but rather at the circumstances surrounding your pregnancy.

It’s essential to be understanding of their perspective and try to empathize with their struggle. By acknowledging their feelings and offering support, you can help ease their jealousy and foster a sense of understanding and compassion.

3. “Stop complaining so much, you’re always complaining!“

Pregnancy is an incredible time in a woman’s life, but it’s not without its challenges. From morning sickness to exhaustion, it’s understandable to want to share your experiences with friends and family members. However, it’s important to be mindful of how your words may be perceived by those who are struggling with infertility or miscarriage.

For example, during my first trimester, I experienced mild nausea whenever I became hungry. This led to me waking up at 2 AM to eat whatever I could stomach, which often ended up being junk food. I would then text my friends to complain about this new biological change happening in real-time.

While it’s okay to vent a little, it’s important to remember that your concerns may come across as complaining to those who are struggling to conceive. It’s crucial to be grateful for the miracle of pregnancy and to show empathy towards those who may be experiencing their own emotional struggles. By being mindful of your words and actions, you can help to support and uplift those around you.

4. “You have your Prince Charming, where is mine?”

One common reason why some women may feel jealous of your pregnancy is the fear of missing out on a fulfilling romantic life. They may be doing well in their careers but feel like they’re missing out on something important in their romantic lives aka building a family. This pressure is often reinforced by societal expectations, such as the expectation to have children before a certain age. It’s important to remember that envy is a natural human emotion, and it’s possible to handle it with empathy and compassion. The fright of turning thirty or forty culturally bounds us to meet external expectations of the world.

For women, finding a suitable partner who is a great potential father, equal partner, and best friend can be quite challenging. Marriage and raising children can be difficult, and some people find their partners early in life while others may never find one. This is a common reason why some women feel jealous of pregnant women – it’s not about the pregnancy, the woman, or the baby, but rather about their own desire to have what the pregnant woman has at the moment.

7 Tips To Combat Pregnancy Envy From Others

1. “It’s not you, it’s them.”

The truth is that jealousy or envy often masks feelings of grief. When your friend or family member expresses envy towards your pregnancy, it’s not really about you or your baby. Instead, it’s their way of coping with the sadness and frustration of not being able to conceive or find a suitable partner to start a family with.

It’s important to remember that sadness, anger, grief, and fear are all normal reactions to infertility. As a person who is pregnant, it’s important to try and understand their situation and be patient, positive, and supportive even when they seem to be acting in a petty way. Being the bigger person will make you feel proud and can help to alleviate some of the tension in your relationship.

2. “Any jealousy is simply human.”

Pregnancy is a wonderful and miraculous stage in your life, but it can be difficult when your friends or family members fail to provide the support you need. It’s understandable to feel hurt when the people you expect to be there for you aren’t as supportive as you hoped. However, it’s important to remember that pregnancy envy is a common feeling, and it’s normal for your loved ones to feel this way.

By understanding where your friends and family members are coming from, you can start to let go of any resentment or hurt that may be brewing inside you in response to their envy. It’s important to have open and honest conversations with them about how you’re feeling and how they can support you during this special time in your life.

3. “Talk to them…”

It is important to reassure your friends and address their concerns. They may be envious of the time you’ll have to spend with your new baby and fear that your relationship with them will suffer. Let them know that your friendship is important to you and that your baby won’t change that.

If the issue is infertility or miscarriage, acknowledge their envy but remind them that there is no logic to it. Encourage them to keep their heads up and remind them that their time will come when it’s supposed to.

Instead of arousing jealousy, be considerate of your friend’s feelings and offer them words of encouragement. There are no limits on the number of babies in the world, so your pregnancy doesn’t take anything away from them personally.

Don’t let your friends isolate themselves. Make time to talk to each other honestly about your feelings and work out ways to maintain your friendship. By understanding each other’s needs, you can prevent jealousy from taking root and keep your relationship strong.

4. “…Or move on.”

There must be a time that these negative emotions should be left behind. You’re going to spend time dwelling on it and that’s normal – but don’t do it forever.

If the relationship isn’t worth salvaging then you should move on. Their primary job is not to embrace this experience which is purely YOURS. So don’t focus on it like it’s their job to support you, just focus on the things that are making you happy!

If you can, try not to flaunt your pregnancy experience no matter hyped this makes you feel. Consider the effects of your words and actions in order to control this negative feeling of jealousy and to preserve good relationships among your friends and families.

5. “Examine the friendship”

When you’ve done your fair share of showing empathy but you still get that cold treatment and sugar-coated (hurtful) jokes. Maybe it’s time to take a step back and examine the friendship altogether. The saddest part is moving on in this sense may mean ending the entire relationship.

Someone’s negative emotions can impact your own and may affect the well-being of the baby growing inside you. Don’t let that happen! Your baby needs a good environment to grow and that includes all those people that surround you.

If your friend or family member cannot overcome their struggle and make you feel wronged because of your pregnancy, it’s a good time for you to take a breather and examine if the relationship is helping you grow or changing you for the worse.

Walking away from a toxic relationship isn’t easy, it takes immense courage and determination. At the end of the day, if walking away is the best for both of you, then it’s always worth a try.  Remember that you can continue to love them, and let them go while keeping the doors open on your own terms. You aren’t ending the relationship for good, you are merely giving them the dice and wait until they are ready to treat you with respect, love, and kindness.

6. “Find support elsewhere.”

When you feel like wanting to talk to someone, you can ask your husband for his listening ear. You can also join groups in your community specific for pregnant women or parents-to-be. Local groups are a good way to start new friendships.

You get to share the same experiences and they may be able to give you advice pertaining to your mommy journey. You can ask your OB or midwife for local groups they know. There are also online forums and communities that you can search on. You can connect with them and chat with them to talk about similar interests.

These local groups and online forums are helpful and a good source of support network while you’re pregnant and even after pregnancy.

You can also start writing a baby diary or start a YouTube vlog. Document your motherhood journey and share this with your child when she/he grows up. Did you know that after 22 weeks, your baby can hear your voice and will recognize it as your voice? So making and starting a vlog isn’t a bad idea at all!

7. “Finding a distraction.”

Engaging in a new hobby can be a wonderful way to combat feelings of loneliness during pregnancy. Consider treating yourself to a new hobby that interests you, as this can help ease any feelings of sadness or isolation. Additionally, planning for your baby’s arrival, such as organizing a baby shower or decorating their room, can be a great way to prepare for motherhood and alleviate any anxiety.

As a pregnant woman, you are in a precious and unique stage of your life, and it is important to cherish and celebrate every milestone along the way. Consider keeping a journal or writing down your experiences, so you can reflect on them later and find comfort during moments of sadness or doubt.

In The End…

For many women, motherhood is a delicate topic that often comes with both joy and pain. It’s important to acknowledge and understand the pain of others, even if you’re experiencing joy yourself. When you can empathize with others and offer support, you have the option to either accept them or let them go.

No matter what you choose, it’s important to remember that their jealousy or envy is not directed towards you, but rather a way for them to cope with their own struggles. By trying to be understanding and going the extra mile, you have the potential to preserve the friendship and allow love to flourish instead of letting jealousy take hold.