10 Reasons To Have Children (And 7 Signs You Are Ready For Parenthood)
“Are you ready to have a baby?”
It sounds like a really simple question. And to be honest, it feels like the natural thing to do. After all, you’ve found someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with. It should be natural for you to want to start having kids with the love of your life.
Well, the trend is saying otherwise. One article published on Today revealed that the number of babies born in the US has fallen. And it’s not just in the US. Even in Australia, one out of four households does not have children.
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No One is Having Babies – What’s Going On?
Society’s evolving. Everything is changing when it comes to the new kids on the block, millennials. And although we have made leaps and bounds – medical science has not caught on quite enough yet. Finances, freedom, culture have evolved whereas biology has stayed still. Some women want to focus on their careers. By the time they reach success, they realize that they don’t want children anymore. Or financially and career-wise, it would be too much of a sacrifice.
Even if finances weren’t an issue, they could be older and unwilling to take the elevated risk of aging biology. Going through the medical cocktail that is conception can be financially and emotionally draining. Some couples just like the connection that they share with each other. And they think that having children will change that dynamic.
Of course, we cannot force these people to start having children if they don’t want to. Admittedly, having children is hard. Very very hard. Sure you can ask all the parents out there and they will say what I’ve heard over and over, “kids are hard but I wouldn’t trade my little one for the world!” They would do everything they can for their kids. But even if they love their children with their entire being, it doesn’t make parenthood any easier.
So if you are on the fence about having kids, you have to ask yourself, is it worth it to have children? Let’s hash into the details below so you can be sure.
10 Common Reasons Why People Have Children
Deciding to become parents should not be done lightly. But what can you really get out of having children?
A lot. And most of what you will get is priceless. Let us give you 10 priceless reasons that you will get if you have kids.
We don’t get to live on this earth forever. However, if we leave a legacy, it will make our memories last longer. You may be thinking, but there are other ways to leave a legacy. You can discover or invent something. But let’s face it. Not everyone can do that. So what can we do? We let our children be our legacy. They will carry our memory and their children will do the same.
Having kids will also bring purpose to your life. If you feel like your life has no direction, having a child will change that. You will be forced to be more careful about your decisions. Because whatever happens in your life will affect your child. It makes you want to straighten your life and be more responsible. When you feel like quitting because your job is too hard, you simply have to look at your child to feel motivated. Everything that you work hard to achieve for the future – it’s for them. It makes your life feel more fulfilling.
What will your kids give you? They will only make you spend on them for the first 18 years of their life. But beyond the material things, your kids bring a lot of blessings. Sure, they cannot give you money. They will make you work harder so you can meet their needs. But they will still feel like a huge blessing. Each child is different and they come into this world with their own set of talents. These talents can be part of the blessing that they will give.
Another great thing about having kids is you will never be alone. And we mean that literally especially while they are still young. They will really cling to you. They would always want to be where you are. Do you know the stories about parents using the bathroom as an escape? That’s true.
But soon, you will long for these moments. It’s tiring but you will love the thought that you will always have your kids. You will never feel lonely when you have kids. Sure, they will grow up and build their own lives. But you know that they will always be there for you. If you need them when you get older, they will be there to keep you company.
This is just like the previous one – but deeper. The thing is, even if your child is not with you physically, you will always have a connection. No matter what happens, that child is yours. You will forever be connected. Because part of your child came from you. And that is something that will comfort you even if you are on your own.
Have you tried talking to a young child about life? They have the most innocent yet amazingly simple perception of life. Try it. If there is something about your work that baffles you, try to talk to them about it. Of course, you need to phrase it carefully so they will understand. But you might be surprised by what you will hear them say. Kids will really give you a new perspective on life. Or they will remind you of how simple things should really be.
A child is their greatest achievement. No matter what, you will always be linked to their achievements. When someone becomes successful, people usually inquire about who their parents are. So if you raise your child well, you can live and enjoy their achievements. Even if you had no hand in their achievements, people will be thanking you for raising such a wonderful and talented person. Feel free to bask in their success because you deserve it.
Who said parenthood will keep you from having new adventures? Having children is really very interesting. These small creatures have a very active imagination. You’ll get tired trying to keep up with them. Every day holds the promise of new adventures with the little ones at home. You just have to look at it from their perspective. Whether it’s a good or bad day, you will find that every day there is something new for you to experience. Raising your kids to be responsible adults is one whole adventure on its own.
You will also learn a lot of things when you have kids. Don’t worry about knowing what to do. Nobody really knows what to do when they have kids. There are general guidelines on what to do. But every child is special and you have to treat them differently. This is why raising kids can be really educational. If you’ve never created a costume before, wait until your child asks you to make one for them. Or if you’ve never planned a birthday party, you will do that several times. Without a doubt, you will come out of parenthood with a lot more knowledge than when you started.
This is probably the most important reason for having a child. They will really make you happy. Sure, they will also make you tired. But they have this special way of making you happy. And it’s not just their silly antics. You will really feel deep happiness that comes from within. You feel it every time you look at them.
What do you think of all these reasons? These should give you something to think about as you try to decide if you’re ready to have kids of your own.
But while you are thinking about it, you should also get to know the signs that you are ready for parenthood. As wonderful as it must be, the experience gets better if you have certain things in place.
7 Signs You Are Ready for Parenthood
The truth is, you can have kids anytime. And if you love your child, you will make it work. But there are certain signs that will really tell you that you are ready for this big step.
1. You understand the sacrifice and ready to roll the dice
I see a lot of parents (the young me included) march into parenthood with a laundry list of expectations. Yes on the surface first-time parents know there will be sacrifices – but they’re also super distracted with all the fun they’re expecting. New parents (esp those with less childcare experience) rarely expect how little control (like none!) they have over their newborn/infant/toddler/preteen/teenager…are you seeing a pattern here?
And there’s also the scary chance that something might be wrong with your baby. Maybe the baby isn’t eating enough, not making friends, missing developmental milestones, etc. It’s a total roll of the dice beyond your control. Welcome to the roller coaster. There are so many things that can go wrong, every child is bound to struggle with something. When you understand this point and still want children, then it’s a strong sign you are ready.
2. You did your research on the nuts and bolts
Did you know a newborn spends almost every single waking moment to feed and much little else? Breastfeeding itself is an entire beast. Breastfeeding is a time consuming full-time job that’s worthy of a semester in college kind of dense studying. It’s true you’ll never be ready to be a parent. But a considerable glance at the nuts and bolts of parenting (pick up a baby book and read it in whole) will do you much good!
3. You and your partner both want to
Even if you are ready for a child, you need to make sure that your spouse or partner is ready too. Otherwise, you have to be prepared to raise that kid on your own. If both of you are not 100% ready, that can cause a rift between the two of you. Make sure that you talk about this carefully. If one has doubts, talk about it. Whatever hindrances there are, you need to solve it together. Parenthood is difficult but it will help you get closer to your partner in ways you will never imagine. But you have to establish that you are getting into this responsibility as a team.
4. You can afford it
Having a child is expensive. The U.S. Census reveals that the average American family spends $6,000 annually on child care. And this does not include what you need to spend for their needs like clothing, food, toys, etc. You need to be prepared for all these expenses. After all, we want our kids to have a good life. So make sure that you are in a stable financial position to afford it. You don’t want to have a child and be buried under multiple debts. You don’t have to be debt-free. But you have to make sure you are completely in control of it.
5. Your career is ready
You don’t really have to wait until you have reached the peak of your career. However, your career should be stable – at the very least. And it’s not even about the finances. You have to make sure that you have the flexibility to care for your child. Your career should allow you to do that. The company that you work for should have policies in place that will help you prioritize caring for your child. If you can look into remote work, get into that program. It will allow you to care for your child while they are young and still have a career.
6. Your support system is in place
Do you know the saying that it takes a village to raise a child? That is true. You will not be solely responsible for caring for your child. This is why you need to make sure that you are in a position in your life wherein your support system is ready to raise a child with you. That means having the right friends.
Your support system will also be helpful when you feel really tired while raising your child. Because it is really exhausting. Having a child will stretch you and you need people who can help you unload – and it’s not just your partner. They don’t have to be within your family or current circle of friends. You can open your doors to have new friends – other parents in the neighborhood who can share both good and bad stories.
7. You are physically ready
Finally, your body should be ready to have a child. Carrying a child for 9 months is no joke. You need to be healthy for both your sake and your child. You need to check your fertility calendar. Not only that, but your womb should also be ready to carry a baby in it. Schedule an appointment with your doctor to help you prepare for this.
And if you think it will all be over once your baby is born, it won’t be. Caring for an infant is also physically demanding. You need to be ready to lose sleep. Because you will not have a good night’s sleep in a few years.
What do you think of all of these? Do you think you have what it takes to be a parent? Think about all that you will gain in the process. And make sure you are really ready for this.