With the increase in divorce and broken marriages, its quite often nowadays for people to begin wondering where their marriage is going to wind up.
We all know the common signs of an unhealthy marriage; infidelity, domestic violence, baddd mother-in-law…and the miscellaneous assortment of financial problems
There comes a certain time in life where everyone will wonder, “Is my spouse happy? Is this a good marriage? Am I really happy with my marriage?”
My own husband even addressed his fear of the fact that 50% of marriages end in divorce one day with me. We were prepping dinner and looked into the statistics — The good news is, very roughly speaking, 50% could be an exaggerated statistic to some. People who have divorced once tend to divorce again which brings up the overall statistic. For never divorced, first time married couples, the rough stat is about a 25% chance of divorce. However, of course, if you’re once divorced then your chance of divorce goes up higher than the 50% average.
8 Signs of a Healthy Marriage
Now how do you really know if you are in a healthy marriage? Especially if you’re a newlywed and never been married before (like my husband and I.) Sure it’s true that not all marriages are like a fairy tale, but HOW can you know or even identify when you are truly, genuinely happy with your marriage life? Here are some visible signs of a healthy marriage typically include:
1. Proper Understanding
After all the worst-case scenario as seen in an unhealthy marriage, healthy marriage requires a proper understanding of what’s at stake in the marriage.
It involves the spouse knowing what’s going to be involved in their relationship, what they are going to lose or give up, what their matrimony is all about, it involves their whole life. That means the newly married couple need to see eye to eye on the critical parts of life ahead. These include topics that have no gray area (ie. having children, existing with in-laws etc.)
After recognizing these factors, newly married couples will be able to make assuring and heartwarming decisions in their marriage. They will be able to plan on how to cope with all the possible risks and eventual disagreements involved.
2. Strong Communication
A healthy marriage ALWAYS has a flourishing and overwhelming means of communicating between the couples. That’s a clear hallmark that goes across cultural bounds.
It’s very noticeable, especially when you see the spouses laughing, planning, adjusting and progressing at a very incredible pace/frequency. This is what I call “real communication” because it’s so easy to see when it’s natural.
Marriage is best enjoyed when each spouse is able to transmit their various feeling to each other while avoiding any space or hole for miscommunication or lack of trust. Don’t ever underestimate the power of communication.
3. Doing Priority Checks
This involves married couples setting the right priorities in their life – and thorough their life together. It’s not always easy; for example – while I struggled with improving my career after moving for my husband’s job…it bought us hardship.
His career was taking off. Mine wasn’t. It was something we both had to work through even though it only “concerned” me. We had to get on the same page and did priority checks. I decided my marriage was more important than achieving my temporary lofty career goals because my lifelong dream was to become a mom.
After flushing out the biggest priorities (and making hard sacrifices), you see that married couples are able to spend time and focus on the things that are most important in their marriage.
4. No Comparisons
A healthy marriage is one in which there is no comparison between other couples and other marriages. A healthy marriage is one where the couples realize their imperfections and flaws and adjust their thinking to focus on improving their marriage or solving their problems.
Happily married couples are always open to methods or means of solving any problematic situation they may encounter. Being content with themselves, they are satisfied and secure with their lifestyle and are able to manage their own life without compromising or being jealous of the other spouses’ finances, career success, or even favoritism from kids.
5. Free of Regrets
Married couples regret nothing after being married to their spouse. I dropped all my exes and all my old relationship baggage at the door. When I became a wife, I was determined to be the best wife and meeting him ‘halfway.’
Having this focus helps each of us focus on how to make the marriage better and improve our relationship with whole faith. We may also have regrets regarding some aspects of our marriage, but we make sure we put in 5000% to be able to handle it, not letting it affect our matrimony.
Never, ever play the blame game. Don’t start blaming each other for losing a certain opportunity in life, it’s too ripe for resentment.
6. Lasting Happiness
This is the hallmark in a healthy and good marriage. The married couples are more often than not very joyous with each other; they laugh, play, have fun making the marriage very lively. This “joyful” liveliness strengthens bonds further. You feel comfortable making little jokes and teasing your partner with much grace. Often it’s said when you can tease your partner and mutually laugh about it in front of others is when they’re totally in sync. There’s nothing to hide and no sensitive probes to avoid like a bad marital landmine.
This is very good and is a sign of a flourishing marriage because of how it tends to strengthen the marriage and make it a long-lasting union. It’s an important factor considering how it benefits married couples in a large way, even affecting their mental and physical health. Lasting marital happiness is one of the core secrets to living a long and fulfilling life according to a 75-year-old Harvard study
7. Flourishing After Childbirth
Another unavoidable sign of a healthy marriage is happiness even after having children.
A lot of marriages break or weaken after new children enter into the picture, sadly. Research has shown this to be the case over and over. You will never understand tiredness until you and your husband have your first baby. Having children is one of the biggest, scariest change in a marriage. You will see who your spouse truly is when you see them interact with the new member of the family.
Not even in the best of marriages can we agree on every little thing concerning child-rearing but a healthy marriage is one where the couples can come together and agree to be on the same page for their children;
A healthy and troubled-free couple believes having children is not a one-lane road – but just the beginning of a wide and confusing road with lots of lessons to learn, new things to watch out for, and added victories to accomplish.
8. Better Today Than Yesterday
A healthy marriage is one where the couple believes they are both living a happy life and ARE a better person than they were before marriage. This is a huge contrast to one of the worst signs of an unhealthy marriage where many couples are not satisfied – or believe they’ve wasted – or are wasting their life. That they are NOT better people today than they were married. That’s a big clue.
A healthy marriage is one where the couples show satisfaction in all the life choices, decisions, and actions they’ve taken in the course of their marriage.
Their facial expressions depict this fact anytime they refer back to the past concerning their marriage and the actions which they took for their soulmate so it’s not something that a person can hide easily. Satisfaction is hard to fake all the time.
A strongly bonded couple will always remember each other and feel like they can, together, scale through any problems they will have to face for all the many, many years to come.